DigEpisode 2: So I said I was going to trawl the markets for info on good AI companies but, I’ll level with you, there aren’t many, so I ended up down another rabbit hole trying to figure out what this one company is even doing. Imma be honest with you guys, I have no freaking idea what the hell Bluesky Digital (BTC.C) does, how it does it, what it owns, and what the hell is even happening here because either the management team are ESL students with bad translation software or they’re deliberately obfuscating for as long as they can in the hope people will just surrender to frustration and stop asking what they do.
From last October:
Today’s production launch of BlueskyINTEL’s (BSI) Web engagement platform represents the second release stage of a dedicated business road map for the diversification of Bluesky’s business.
Bluesky’s Web engagement platform that launched today represents, in great part, a year of dedicated R&D (research and development) focused on blockchain methods and technology, including focusing on elements like DAOs (decentralized autonomous organizations), tokens and tokenization, LARPs (live action role plays), and Web3. Major focus was given to how global businesses will adopt the blockchain in their future plans and leverage this ecosystem to operate in a truly digital landscape.
If this was 2020, I’d say these guys were just one of the 920 different pubcos of the time that had announced they had become ‘blockchain’ companies with no earthly idea of what blockchain companies do. But it’s 2023, and blockchain is less fashionable these days than cannabis as an investment, so what are these guys actually doing tossing blockchain terminology out there?
Ben Gelfand, chief executive officer, stated: “Almost a year ago today we announced our plans to diversify our business focus and definitely be more than just a crypto miner, we have demonstrated with today’s release of this platform that our business plans were prescient in light of a changing crypto market and that we have been working in the best interest of our shareholders.”
Okay, so these guys clearly love the tech speak as a means of suggesting they have big plans without actually explaining what those plans might be, but we’re six months down the line from that word salad now, so let’s see what these dudes have ended up with now the dust has settled.
Further to the previously reported expansion plans on March 20, 2023, for BSI’s artificial intelligence (AI) program expansion, BSI, as of the date of this press release, is formally moving from the design phase to the execution stage for its planned next material change to its Web engagement platform.
The BlueskyINTEL R&D team has completed the conceptual design phase for its new Web engagement platform embedded messaging system (CO-LAB). This proprietary platform messaging system will support Bluesky’s business value proposition engagement strategy and revenue plans by keeping all engagement communications private, secure and working within the BSI platform itself. Registered engagement and platform users will not need to leave the platform to use other communication and messaging tools to engage with other registered users within the BSI platform.
What, and I say this with all due respect, THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THIS MEAN?
This isn’t even SEO, it’s like if Wordle involved only 12-letter words that were vaguely techy in nature. Hell, they’ve got ‘engagement’ in their twice, ‘communications’ twice more, and ‘platform’ SIX TIMES in three sentences.
“As previously stated in this press release, the management team of Bluesky strongly feel that TMI will enable Bluesky and BlueskyIntel to establish an improved way of digital media growth and client outreach, resulting to higher engagement on the BlueskyIntel platform.”
THIS ISN’T EVEN ENGLISH.
Today now offering a complete ecosystem of value-creation, Bluesky will invest into the advanced development of proprietary based technology inclusive of advanced Artificial Intelligence (“AI”) based methods for the creation of cutting edge intelligent solutions.
SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP.
A public company has one job, and that’s to clearly tell investors and potential investors what they actually do. For a living. As a business.
This company uses more words to get to the end of a sentence than any I’ve ever seen, and when you get to the end of that sentence, you don’t know how you got there. This is what happens when you use AI to write your marketing materials, but you’re too cheap to get the subscription that makes ChatGPT v4 available.
This is legacy 3.5 ChatGPT garbage talk, and I hate everyone involved for putting me through the experience of trying to decipher it.
Look, I’m a tech guy. I had an Apple II clone in the mid-80s. I was hitting online bulletin board systems before the internet was a thing the public had access to. I taught my maths teacher, who was our high school computer science teacher at the time, how to code in basic.
10 print “Read a book, dummy”
20 GOTO 10.
I can talk spatial internet with you, I can describe blockchain in detail, I’ve called crypto rises and falls in pretty consistent detail, I was there when porn came in alt.fan newsgroups, I watched the Geocities burn off the shoulder of Orion, saw the rise and fall of Lycos. I cursed Jeff Bezos out when he was selling books out of his garage and told him he was never going to amount to anything if he couldn’t get my Hunter S. Thompson book to me inside three weeks. I remember the original URL of Yahoo when it was run out of a dorm at Stanford.
So don’t come at me with this techspeak bullshit that is designed to cover for the fact that YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING.
How do I know this? Because now you’re preening about as if you’re an AI company.
Bluesky Digital Assets Corp. plans to repurpose its GPU hardware to realize value for these assets based on the current heavy demand by artificial intelligence technology for appropriate GPU hardware.
Translation: They spent $2 million on Bitcoin miners, then realized that business sucks, and now they’re going to repurpose that hardware to AI companies. Cool plan, except we heard it from EVERY SINGLE BITCOIN MINER back when the ass first fell out of that market years ago, and you know what ended up happening?
Not one rig was ‘repurposed’ for the video rendering and VR and AR and metaverse uses that were going to be soooo easy to set up as a Plan B.
You know why? Because nobody needs your tinpot rigs for AI. Real AI companies don’t want your garage full of hardware for their actual monstrously massive data needs. Because you’re nobody. You’re a movie of the week. You’re a fucking t-shirt.
Companies like this piss me off, if you haven’t figured it out already. Not because they’re over their skis on ambition, and not because they’re so intent on using every single searchable buzzword they found in this month’s Wired Magazine that they end up talking endless spirals of crap that make no sense. I can respect the player who is giving their all to the game.
No, companies like this piss me off because they think we’re SO freaking dumb we won’t see what they’re doing.
Check it out, here’s me writing the profile for Bluesky Digital as if it was real:
Bluesky Digital is an emerging tech company with projects that touch on decentralized finance, blockchain models and, more recently, artificial intelligence, as we work toward utilizing web3 tech to enter the emerging market of digital asset management, e-commerce, and communications.
How’s that? Not bad, huh? I mean, it doesn’t say anything real but at least you get the gist that they’re working on something that’s likely to take shape as the relevant sub-sectors of the tech space reveal themselves.
“We are not currently in a revenue stage, but the ongoing R&D we’re performing is giving us a great roadmap of where there are opportunities, and allowing us to zero in on a business model that will make sense as the market evolves,” said Chris Parry, the new CEO.
You’d buy my stock, you know you would. But here’s the company profile Bluesky Digital actually uses on every one of their voluminous, loquacious, garrulous, voluble, verbose, multiloquent thesaurus emptiers:
Bluesky Digital Assets is building a high-value digital enterprise. In its start-up phase, Bluesky mined digital currencies, such as bitcoin and ether, and developed value-added technology services for the digital-currency market, such as proprietary technology solutions. Offering a complete ecosystem of value creation, Bluesky has invested appropriate portions of its previous digital-currency mining profits back into its operations. A percentage of the profit was invested in the development of a proprietary artificial-intelligence-based blockchain technology. Over all, Bluesky takes an approach that enables the corporation to scale, and respond to changing conditions, within the still-emerging blockchain industry. The corporation is poised to capture value in successive phases as this industry continues to change, evolve and scale.
Me: Two clear sentences.
Them: Four, all absolute gobbledy gook.
If you check the share chart above, you’ll see a huge destruction of wealth at Bluesky Digital over the last few years, but also a little volume increase recently as it threw about its AI mumbo jumbo. Nobody gave a shit about their ‘big plans’ for blockchain, but toss about another hot sector enough and people will toss some change at it on a hunch that maybe they can enter at $0.04 and exit at $0.06 before it all goes jubblies up.
But, be clear, when you buy Bluesky Digital stock you’re buying keywords. Not rigs. Not defensible tech. Not a real revenue stream. Not a thing that this company has been able to accurately describe in six months of news releases, not a concept that can be realistically analyzed or scrutinized, and that’s by design.
Prove me wrong, Ben, because your company looks pretendsy to me.
— Chris Parry
FULL DISCLOSURE: Not buying the stock, not shorting the stock, not in any way commercially connected to the company. I just don’t like when guys use absolute bullshit talk to con retail and will always say my piece when I see fakery in the wild.
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